


New Years' Resolutions...Not?

by Sally M (sallymn)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: All series, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-14
Updated: 2009-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-02 19:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallymn/pseuds/Sally%20M
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every year, they make promises...</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	New Years' Resolutions...Not?

**Author's Note:**

> A very early piece of New Years nonsense, spoilers cheerfully galore...

**New Years' Resolutions...Not?**

****

_At the beginning of the first year..._

**Blake:** I will bring down the Federation. I will put together a group as loyal, enthusiastic, dedicated-to-the-Cause, team-spirited and high-minded as any other rebel leader has. I will even make friends with this Avon (can't be _that_ hard...) 

**Avon:** If I failed at being so rich and powerful no one could touch me, I will try being so arrogant and objectionable that no one will want to. 

**Cally:** I will have companions for my death. 

**Jenna:** I will have that cute curly-headed one in no time, just watch me. 

**Gan:** I will have to keep an eye on Vila. I will follow the idealist. I will be reasonable and fair and even-tempered at all times. I will try not to wonder why everyone pays more attention to the unreasonable, unfair, about-as-even-tempered-as-a-warg-strangler-with-a-sore-paw one. 

**Vila:** I will stick with these people - they look nice and safe... 

  


**Blake:** I will _not_ strangle Avon. I will bring down the Federation. I will find some fancier outfits in the wardrobe room (and I will _not_ tell Avon that green velvet isn't his style, he's been eyeing something even worse in red leather.) I will learn how to get useful information from Orac without threatening to boot it from here to the airlock. I will not even think about booting Avon from here to the airlock. I will find a nicer way to let Jenna down gently. I will think of a good reason why I have to let Jenna down at all. I will convince myself it is my Noble Streak. Oh, and I will not, I will not strangle Avon. 

**Vila:** I will stick with Blake - he's not safe, but I like him. I will find a way to persuade Blake that liberating lots of bars and hotels and Federation Rest Centres is a Blow For Freedom. I will study up on some nice non-painful but bedrest-needing symptoms to develop when Blake wants something unlocked and blown up (not always in that order). I will not fall asleep again on teleport duty, or they'll give the job to Jenna and Cally and make me go down more often. I might even do something brave this year... nah. 

**Gan:** I will try and talk sense into Blake sometimes (someone has to, and I don't think Avon knows the meaning of the word). I will continue to be reasonable and fair and even-tempered if it kills me. 

**Cally:** I will not be Taken Over by Aliens. I will not wimp out. I will support Blake no matter how wild his ideas get, right to the end. I will work on my fashion sense (I will start by getting a hair-cut that will make people sit up and look). 

**Jenna:** I will win the who's-the-gaudiest-dresser contest with Avon, and I _will_ ensure that my red leather and high heels are sexier than his. I will not wimp out. I will find a way to persuade Blake that liberating lots of extremely valuable space cargo is a Blow For Freedom. And I will find a way round his Noble Streak, just watch me... 

**Avon:** I will not shoot Blake. I will shoot anyone - like Travis - who tries (I will think of a good selfish reason, however). I will win the who's-the-gaudiest-dresser contest with Jenna, even if thigh-length boots are a pain to wear (and don't fit the macho image). One of these days, I _will not_ end up doing what Blake says. And I will, I will, I will end up with this ship (but not the crew, please God not the crew). 

  


_At the beginning of the third year..._

**Cally:** I will not be Taken Over by Aliens more than twice a month. I will think about empathising with Avon about the dead ex-girlfriend (I only said I would think about it) and missing Fearless Leader. I will lock up medical supplies of soma and adrenalin better. I will not wimp out any further. 

**Vila:** I will stick with Avon, he's safer than Blake. I will see these new youngsters treat me with respect. I will see Orac treats me with respect. I will _win_ a game against Avon. I will let Cally think her locks on the medical supplies work... oh, for at least three days. I will find a way to convince Tarrant that all good pirates need to stock lots of rum and gin and brandy (then I won't need so much of the medical adrenaline and soma). I might even do something brave _this_ year... nah. 

**Tarrant:** I will not strangle Avon (but I will thump him occasionally.) I will try and talk sense into him sometimes (not that I'm too sure what that word means, but what the hell, neither is he). I will find even gaudier outfits in the wardrobe room than he wears, and not glare at Vila when he says that the Robin Hood bit looked better on _other_ people (and I will refrain from pointing out that it's a _pirate_ look). I will not, will not, will not strangle Avon. 

**Dayna:** Servalan. In pieces. Small ones. By next Christmas. Or else. 

**Avon:** I will find the bastard who killed Anna. I will kill the bastard who killed Anna. I will remember that getting hit over the head is Part of Being A Hero (I will try not to remember that Blake didn't get hit over the head nearly this often when he was The Hero). I will have some peace and quiet now there's no one interest - errr, I mean infuriating - to fight with. I will wear that red leather one more time, no matter how bloody awful they all think it is. And I will find that blasted s o b militant idealist (whom I will not admit I miss one little bit) if it costs me the ship... 

  


_At the beginning of the fourth year..._

**Vila:** I think I will get drunk for a year. And I will stick with Avon, though maybe if I do something brave for Tarrant... like save his skin... nah. Never get the chance. 

**Tarrant:** I will not strangle Avon. I will not sulk because Dorian bought fancy black leather and studs for Avon and these boring grey duds for me. I will Get Some This Year (there must be somebody out there for me, even if she's, say, an assassin, a megalomaniac or a warlord-in-training...) I will not blame that damned Blake for not strangling Avon and saving me from temptation. I will learn to think before Charging In Heroically... nah, where's the fun in that? 

**Soolin:** I will work out why the hell I'm staying with this lot. I will make the galactic record for hair-changes within one space battle. 

**Dayna: ** Servalan. In tiny pieces. By this time next year. No matter what. 

**Avon:** I'll kill the bitch. No, maybe I won't kill the bitch. Yes, I _will_... I will find a good leather-and-stud cleaner. I will stop borrowing Soolin's blow-dryer and get Vila to steal one of my own. I will be nicer to Vila. And strange women. And I _definitely_ will find that blasted s o b militant idealist (whom I still will not admit I miss one little bit) if I have to get the base blown up, Scorpio crashed and _everyone_ killed to do it... 

**\- the end -**


End file.
